Black Lives Matter
At the beginning of May, I spoke with my kids about Ahmaud and we ran in honor of his death at the hands of racist white men. Now, at the end of May, as the riots take place and cities around the country are burning, it is hard to know what I can do.
Black lives matter. I truly believe that. I know racism is alive and rampant throughout America. I know people of color have it much harder than I do. They've tried peacefully over and over to try to get their point across. Nothing changes. Things get to a boiling point yet again and a riot or two may break out. Racism is in the news. Then status quo resumes. Change hasn't happened. Racial profiling continues. Racist killings continue.
A couple of years ago I was driving home from the beach and was distracted in passing food back to my kids and on a pretty empty freeway, my speedometer crept up without me realizing it. Next thing I know, I glance out of my passenger window to see a police car entering the freeway in the lane next to me and I tap the brakes. The officer makes eye contact with me and shakes his head at me before exiting at the next exit. The policemen were entering the freeway just to get to their destination quicker and not to make a stop. However, as my heart was racing and my needle dropped back to 75 mph, I wondered, had I been any other color, would I have been pulled over? White privilege?
My only time being pulled over by a policeman was when I was in college. I was speeding and admitted to it with shaking hands and a racing heart. I didn't get a ticket then, yet I still felt shaky for the rest of my drive that night. Had I been any other color, would I have been asked to step out of my car? Would I have "fit a description"? White privilege?
Being, not only white, but also female makes me even less likely to ever have to fear an encounter with the police. I have had experiences feeling scared or unsafe... In college, there were occasionally reports of females running alone getting raped. There were a couple of routes that I would run regularly that had some pretty secluded areas that made afraid and pick up my pace each time I got to them. I felt unsafe. Imagine being an adult male and feeling unsafe to go for a walk or a run in your own neighborhood, or feeling nervous when you fill up with gas at night. My husband has never once had to worry about that. That is white privilege.
When I go through an airport and I am the one randomly selected to be searched or have my carry-ons thoroughly searched, I am honestly glad. I'm never sure how truly random their selections are. I do not ever have to be scared that I'm going to be somehow suspect and be held for questioning or miss my flight or anything like that. White privilege.
I don't know if it is my place to join a riot since I haven't been wronged. I don't know if it is safe to bring my children to a protest because even if it starts off peaceful, I have no idea when/if/how much it will escalate.
My kids' friends at school are people of color. I hope it stays that way. We are in different neighborhoods from many of the kids in their school who are POC, which makes it harder to schedule playdates.
Black lives matter. I truly believe that. I know racism is alive and rampant throughout America. I know people of color have it much harder than I do. They've tried peacefully over and over to try to get their point across. Nothing changes. Things get to a boiling point yet again and a riot or two may break out. Racism is in the news. Then status quo resumes. Change hasn't happened. Racial profiling continues. Racist killings continue.
A couple of years ago I was driving home from the beach and was distracted in passing food back to my kids and on a pretty empty freeway, my speedometer crept up without me realizing it. Next thing I know, I glance out of my passenger window to see a police car entering the freeway in the lane next to me and I tap the brakes. The officer makes eye contact with me and shakes his head at me before exiting at the next exit. The policemen were entering the freeway just to get to their destination quicker and not to make a stop. However, as my heart was racing and my needle dropped back to 75 mph, I wondered, had I been any other color, would I have been pulled over? White privilege?
My only time being pulled over by a policeman was when I was in college. I was speeding and admitted to it with shaking hands and a racing heart. I didn't get a ticket then, yet I still felt shaky for the rest of my drive that night. Had I been any other color, would I have been asked to step out of my car? Would I have "fit a description"? White privilege?
Being, not only white, but also female makes me even less likely to ever have to fear an encounter with the police. I have had experiences feeling scared or unsafe... In college, there were occasionally reports of females running alone getting raped. There were a couple of routes that I would run regularly that had some pretty secluded areas that made afraid and pick up my pace each time I got to them. I felt unsafe. Imagine being an adult male and feeling unsafe to go for a walk or a run in your own neighborhood, or feeling nervous when you fill up with gas at night. My husband has never once had to worry about that. That is white privilege.
When I go through an airport and I am the one randomly selected to be searched or have my carry-ons thoroughly searched, I am honestly glad. I'm never sure how truly random their selections are. I do not ever have to be scared that I'm going to be somehow suspect and be held for questioning or miss my flight or anything like that. White privilege.
I don't know if it is my place to join a riot since I haven't been wronged. I don't know if it is safe to bring my children to a protest because even if it starts off peaceful, I have no idea when/if/how much it will escalate.
My kids' friends at school are people of color. I hope it stays that way. We are in different neighborhoods from many of the kids in their school who are POC, which makes it harder to schedule playdates.
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